i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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