Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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