i just wanna soil my oats bro
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
