Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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