if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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