I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
