So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize