He kissed a someone with a penis
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
