i'm lost and i look like a hooker
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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