are you still at the devil's house?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
