i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
