Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
