Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
