i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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