Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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