Christians are straight up FREAKS
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize