I love having hate sex.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
