If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
