my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I would fuck him just for his dog
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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