I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
