Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
