just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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