oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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