Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
