My sheets look like a crime scene.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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