How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize