im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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