the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
The dick lei will go down in squad history
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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