i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize