We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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