I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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