Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
