Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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