are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
