Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
