I don't remember. Are we still dating?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
