I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
