Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
