Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
