i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
