he shaved USA in his pubs
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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