The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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