Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He kissed a someone with a penis
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize