well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We had to coat check the pizza.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
