So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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