AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
