Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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