You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
This is classic penis vs brain.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
soo... how was my night?
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