what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
