shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
