i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
