I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
where does the pee come out of this thing
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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