I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
