I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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