You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
