What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We don't watch enough power rangers
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
