Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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