he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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