So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
