I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Sorry about my life...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
