she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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