she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
