Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
