Sry I called you an 8
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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